Dodging a Bullet - Sorry long post

When I was 21 years old I married my first Husband. We met when I was 18; he was 5 years older than me and we worked together at a food service warehouse. I was young and Naive and thought I was in love and could 'fix' him. Little did I know the depth of his problems. It all started a little after we got engaged, he would say something mean or drink a little too much and get angry and break a glass, I always just thought that he was 'getting cold feet' and that it would pass after the wedding. Just before we were to send out the Wedding invitations we went looking for a place to have our rehearsal dinner when what should have been my sign to get out happened. We were at dinner and for little to no reason he yelled at me to 'shut the fuck up' at the table in front of my parents and his dad and step mom. I had second thoughts at that time, but again gave him the benefit of the doubt and chalked it up to pre-wedding jitters. We had a large and beautiful wedding in September 2001.
Within a few months the problems got worse. I was being accused of cheating constantly and every time I left the house I was called several times to find out my whereabouts. At some point in one of his fits of rage he flipped the couch over. In April 2002 I was getting ready for work and was putting my hair up in a pony tail when he came into the bathroom and demanded to know who I was getting all dressed up for. I told him he was being ridiculous and he backed me up against the bathroom wall, took off his shirt and punched a hole in the wall by my head. This was when I decided it was time to get out. I had been going to therapy for a few weeks (alone as he had refused to go with me) and had been trying to figure out if I wanted to stay or not. At my next appointment I told my therapist that I wanted to leave. I was going on a trip to see my Mom in Las Vegas in May and I was thinking I would go and when I returned to California I would not go home.
Within a few hours of landing in Vegas I got a phone call from him demanding that I come home because he found a letter from an ex in my dresser and he knew I was cheating on him and that I needed to come home now. I asked if he read the letter. He said yes and I said that he then knew that the letter was over a year old and was only asking if I had a piece of lost property. I told him that he had nothing to worry about. He insisted that I come home. When I told him I would not and that when I came home I was leaving him he said that he was going to kill himself. I was gone for 5 days and received at least 100 phone calls from him and his family, but I had made up my mind. When I returned I ended up having to get a restraining order and filed for divorce immediately. My divorce was finalized January 2003.
I have friends that I keep in touch with who also keep in touch with him and have let me know when he has needed to talk to me (I had co-signed on a truck for him a few months before I left). I have talked to him maybe 3 times since our divorce and he apologized at one point for what he did to me. He remarried 2 years ago and had a son with his new wife last year.
I heard from my friend yesterday some very upsetting news. She told me that he has lost the house that I helped him buy, lost his boat, truck, job, wife and custody of his child; and has to go to jail for domestic violence. Apparently he is now addicted to Meth.
I can not help but feel blessed that I got out when I did. We would have been married for 9 years this year and I am sure that if I would have stayed with him we would have a few kids by now. I probably would have never gone to nursing school and would still be living in Stockton. There is no way to know how the story would have gone, but I am pretty sure at some point he would have hit me or if we had them our kids some day.
Some times I try to forget the pain I went through, but when it comes down to it, I am grateful for the experience because it has made me a stronger person.