Family Matters

Anyone who knows me well, knows that I am not terribly close with my siblings. I am 5 years older than my sister and 8 years older than the baby, my brother. My brother called me yesterday after I hadn't talked to him in about 2-3 months. The conversation started off well with small talk, I told him that Jake and I were getting ready for the arrival of our baby in about 3 weeks. Jerrod then asked me if he could 'crash' at our place for three weeks since he was in San Francisco. I told him no nicely and then told him that I had to go and hoped he had a safe trip back to Las Vegas. 20 minutes later I got a text message from him asking for $20 to help him get home. Again I told him no. This is a perfect example as to why I am not close to my brother and as to why I am 'hand-picking' my children's Aunts and Uncles. Some of my family tell me that I need to accept my brother for who he is, but I can not because I really and truly hope that one day he will become a better person.

Maternity Leave

So my OB put me on Maternity Leave early. I was somewhat expecting to work at the most 3 more weeks and 1 more week at the least. She put me on leave mostly because of my job (I am a RN and I work 12 hour night shifts) but also because my blood pressure has been going up steadily since I became pregnant, I have been having some foot and hand swelling and that I am spilling protein into my urine (TMI?). Granted my B/P isn't terribly high but the other things are all symptoms of pre-eclampsia. I am not very nervous about this, my Mom had pre-eclampsia when she was pregnant with me and she said it was okay. I guess I am mostly nervous about going on leave so early because it might be a little of an economic hardship. I am also concerned that having all this time off wil give me too much time to worry about things...since that is what I do best...worry. I guess I will just have to find things to keep me busy.

Long Distance Relationships.

My Mom and I are very close. I talk to her almost every day. The thing is she lives in Las Vegas. I hate that she lives so far away. It seems like every time I see her, no matter how long it is for, it is never long enough. I am excited to have her come and stay with us for 2 weeks after the baby is born, but I know it will be very difficult for me to let her go. It makes me feel silly that I get so emotional when it is time for us to part, but I guess I will always be my Mommy's little girl.

Strange Dreams

Pregnancy brings with it many side effects, many of which I have experienced (nausea, swelling, bleeding gums, indigestion, etc.). Which confuses me to how women can not know they are pregnant, but that is another post in itself. The symptom of pregnancy that has bothered me the most has been the strange dreams that I have. These dreams have kept me from getting quality sleep for the past 6 months. These dreams are so vivid and real it is almost like I am either really there, or watching them on TV, so my brain isn't really resting. Most of the time I don't remember these dreams I just know that they are very strange.
However, when I woke up at 3:30 this morning I remembered quite a bit of my dream. This dream is interesting to me because it shows how much our brains absorb what goes on around us. Last nite I watched the show Intervention, which was about a young woman addicted to Meth. Last nite I dreamed that myself, Jake, my cousin Ethan and some random guy were addicted to smoking cheese, like in a pipe!! It was pretty strange. Most of the dream was us running around some huge park at nite in the rain trying to 'score' cheese. Before I woke up, I was really trying to get Jake and Ethan to quit because our boss (apparently we worked together) was becoming suspicious of us. So Ethan and Jake were going to clean out the car that we shared to get rid of any more cheese that we had. When I went to check on them they were standing in the parking garage smoking the cheese out of a hooka.
I am not saying that any of my dreams make sense, I am just saying....no wonder I am so freaking tired all of the time...look at what my mind is doing when I am supposed to be resting!!!

Should be glad I have a job??

Haven't been on in a while...been busy with getting ready for our baby that is due in December and with the hubby going back to Grad School. Sometimes I can't believe how crazy life can get in such a short time. But I have to admit, as crazy as it is I am so excited about all of the wonderful changes that are coming our way.
However with every thing good, comes the bad. Work has really sucked lately. The hospital that I work for had one of the most profitable years in a long time last year (not my opinion, the CEO sent a letter to everyone thanking us all for our hard work). Despite this, the hospital is tightening its belt and cutting back. They have instituting a hiring freeze and are trying to implement a wage freeze, I don't want a raise particularly, but I do think it is dangerous to stop hiring staff. They are also drastically understaffing us on a daily basis. I don't get upset when we are busy but I do get upset when we are so busy that it puts patient safety at risk. Two patients fell the other nite because we were so busy. The last thing is that all of this stress has caused a lot of tension between day and nite shift. I have worked nites almost as long as I have worked and I take a lot of pride in my work. I am getting tired of hearing that nites has it better than days and that we don't do anything. I am hoping that things get better soon because I don't like feeling like my work is not appreciated.
My biggest pet peeve is that management keeps telling us "Yes times are tough, but we should all be happy we have a job."

Settling In

Wel, I am finally down to one job, so relaxing!! I have been able to rest and relax and now Jake doesn't have to ask where I am working tonite. I am getting ready for a little vacation, I am scheduled off for 7 days and I am looking foward to some time off. I have lots planned, a haircut, joining Jake for work on his tattoo, a Giants game with my Dad and Carol and so much more. I am excited to spend time with Jake and some good friends. All I have to do is get through work tonite!! I can not wait. I will update with how the week went. Cheers!

Greener Pastures Ahead?

Things seem to be looking up. Jake and I have sat down and perused our finances, and it looks like I can quit my second job at the end of this month. Sure we are going to have to tighten the purse strings a little but it will be worth it. I have been trying to care of myself lately and this ahs been the hardest thig to quit because I ahave been afraid of what it might do to our finances. I can hardly wait. I have been so tired and stressed out lately. I am looking foward to more time at home and having more time to spend with friends and family. I feel like life has been passing me by and I am excited to start living again.

President's Day Weekend

I was off for 3 whole days. It felt good to do absolutely nothing. Although when given the chance to do nothing I usually make myself busy. Friday we went to Emeryville so Jake could have work done on his birthday Tattoo. Saturday (Valentine's Day) we went to breakfast and ran all of our errands (grocery store, target). We spent the evening chillin' and catching up on Grey's Anatomy. Sunday I woke up early and started cleaning the house. With the rain the back yard is a giant mud pit. Howie (our boxer) loves to go out and play in it and then run thru the house. Needless to say my house was disgusting. I spent about 4 hours cleaning from top to bottom. I go back to work tonite but before that Home Depot is going to come out to give a quote on putting in new windows. Starting the week off with a bang, it is going to be another crazy week. Getting our taxes done, having our new Sleep Number bed delivered and work, work, work. Makes me tired just thinking about it. I have a feeling this is going to be a really good week though, hopefully good news to come and at least breaking even with taxes.

Exhaustion

Exhaustion is setting in on me. I am working 5 days at two different hospitals for a total of 52 hours this week. The money is nice and we have been able to make a lot of improvements to the Purple Palace, but I am really close to being done with the whole thing. I feel like all I am doing is working, sleeping and going to the grocery store. I am also sick of people telling me 'Oh you're young you can do it'. Argh! I don't care how old you are only one day off at a time is difficult. I think the worst part of the whole thing is I don't get to spend any time with my family. On average I see Jake about 10 minutes a day and usually I literally only see him, because when I get home he is on the Treadmill or lifting weights. I talk to him on the phone more than in person, and some days the only thing I get to tell him is I love him. It's not just my job, it's his too. They fired a Program Director and they are having him do that job on top of his regular stuff, so he is gone most days from 9-8, not to mention the non-stop phone calls and endless email checking. Oh and the bonus is they aren't paying him any extra. Great! I hate to be such a downer, it is just starting to get to me. I am hoping they will start paying him more or give him less work (or both) soon. I worry about how this will affect our relationship and if it will make having/starting a family difficult. Things will get better soon, it just really sucks right now.

I'm Blogging?!?!

So I was inspired by my Aunt Deb and Cousin-in-Law (?) Colleen to start a blog too. I think I am going to use this to talk about whatever. I mean isn't that what a blog is for? Lets see, lets start with what my goals are this year....
1. I really want to be healthier in mind, body and spirit
2. I want to take more time out for me
3. I am not going to call in sick to work unless I am REALLY sick.

I dunno I am sure there are more things like sewing more, more time with the dogs, more time with Jake. We are both turning 30 this year and I want to celebrate it! I am excited to see what the year brings.